Here are a few facts, feelings, and characterizations relating to the Hartford 2011 dragon boat race.
If you’re short on everything except enemy, you’re in combat. We didn’t have enough people, paddles, or time between races. We were hemmed in by competitors, dock staff, race officials, and race organization, but we didn’t give up. The advantage to being surrounded is that you can attack in any direction.
No plan survives first contact with the enemy. We put together a series of well-planned race line-ups which soon melted when exposed to Hartford’s Hell Fires. Everything from last minute cancellations to heat-induced woozies to race officials that wouldn’t let me steer contributed to the destruction of our neatly contrived line-ups. Each time we thought we had a plan, a race official would spring forth from the ground to tell us that our plan was illegal and immoral. We got in trouble for loading up in the boat they told us to load, we got in trouble for coming in to the docks too quickly, and for coming in too slowly. Oh, and I got in trouble for swearing at all you melon farmers. Suffice it to say, few of our plans went as planned.
However, a good plan violently executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week. Undaunted by Hartford’s wily ways, Sandy worked throughout the weekend to respond to each problem presented. She spread the load where needed, moved paddlers so that they could be more effective, and made sure that we sent out crews in the best condition possible. Steve was instrumental at getting us a professional steerer from Wall Street to take the helm on our women’s boat after I was disqualified for not having a vagina. Patrick Lenehan saved the day by loaning us another 49″ paddle when we needed it most, even though it meant running in Tropic Thunder heat to get it. Everywhere I looked, I saw Rooters stepping up and adjusting to the ever-changing conditions. It made me proud.
If it’s stupid but it works, it’s not stupid. In hindsight, our strategy for victory was not so bright: Register 2 boats but bring enough paddlers for just one. Ignore IDBF rules and try to use a 6’4″ loud, hairy, cursing, irreverent MAN as your steerer on the women’s boat. Make all the women race 12 times over the course of the weekend so that they’ll be rested and ready for the final. Find a short tempered 8-month pregnant lady and make her your drummer. Our strategy wasn’t exactly the brightest, but it worked the best. Our Mixed Team managed to win gold medals for both the 200m and the 500m distances in B Division. I’ll have to double check our records, but I think that’s a first in Living Root history. Our women’s team was pitted against some truly talented teams out of Philadelphia and New York, although they didn’t win, the fact that they competed despite Hartford’s every effort to disqualify them is itself an accomplishment. Their 200m final was faster than some of teams in the B Division.
I’m really pleased with how everyone on the team handled the baloney tossed at us this weekend. Every time I turned around, I saw someone helping someone else, or fighting for the team. It was Teresa going toe to toe with a raging, screaming (seriously) dock staffer, it was Scott looking out for our paddlers’ safety, and it was Steve pulling strings for us when we needed it. Everyone pushed hard and stayed positive, and it all makes me happy to be on the team with you.
Here are the final results. See you at practice!
-Capt. P
Women’s Boat
200m Time Trial #1: 1:04.13 3rd
200m Time Trial #2: 1:04.50 4th
500m Time Trial #1: No results
500m Time Trial #2: No results
200m Final: 1:00.93 4th
500m Final: 2:40.73 4th
Mixed Boat
200m Time Trial #1: 0:59.24 3rd
200m Time Trial #2: 0:58.36 3rd
500m Time Trial #1: No results
500m Time Trial #2: No results
200m Final: 0:54.35 1st
500m Final: 2:23.96 1st
